Home Reviews Review: Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard

Review: Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard

2 min read

I’ve been looking forward to watching Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard since it was announced, because I sort of enjoyed the first Hitman’s Bodyguard, but the sequel to the 2017 film left me sort of disappointed.

I’m not going to spoil anything, don’t worry.

I didn’t expect anything other than a fun action film. I mean, the first film was exactly that, with very flat humour in my opinion.

It was immediately clear that this movie was going to have pacing issues, as they laid out the whole plot almost in the first ten minutes. It initially felt at a point like they tried to film everything in one day, but it does thankfully slow down a bit later on.

There was no build up to reveal the bad guy or anything or lead up to anything. It just starts….with a lot of yelling from Salma Hayek. I swear that woman can scream the balls off a brass monkey.

If I hear the word “cucaracha” one more time….

If you’re looking for something compelling or deep, this movie is not it. It’s basically another straight forward shoot ‘em up film, littered with one liners and the F-bomb.

Now, I swear like a sailor myself, so the F-word doesn’t really bother me that much, but in this movie it basically makes up the script. So, don’t watch this with young, impressionable young minds around. It actually gets annoying after a while.

The humour is better than in the first movie and had me going: “LOL…WTF.” A lot. We all know Reynolds is funny, but it also seems like it takes a while for him to get into a rhythm, before the normal smart mouth appears. Jackson does what he does, basically swear a lot and that is it. Salma Hayek does a lot of yelling, as she portrays a deeply troubled individual and calls everyone a “cucaracha”, to the point of me wanting to throw the remote at my TV.

As with any movie of this genre there is a bad guy, Antonio Banderas, which plays the typical European villain, with bad clothes and hair, and jumps onto the screen within the first 15 minutes of the movie and lays his plan bare. Like I said, pacing.

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard stars Ryan Reynolds as Michael Bryce, the bodyguard, Samuel L Jackson as Darius Kincaid, the violent, unhinged hitman, Salma Hayek as Sonia Kincaid, Darius’ crazy, screaming wife, Frank Grillo, Antonio Banderas, Tom Hopper ( from Black Sails) and even a surprise appearance by Morgan Freeman. It’s directed by Patrick Hughes who also did the first movie.

The movie is trash, but you get into it after a while and then it becomes fun. But it takes a few WTF moments for that to happen. It’s nothing but a Friday night popcorn movie, with nothing more to offer than unrealistic action sequences, a lot of swearing, crazy people and some humour that kind of falls flat most of the time.

It’s worth the watch if you are bored, have nothing to watch have 90 minutes to kill and it gets a 4.5/10 from me.

Last Updated: July 20, 2021

Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard
Nothing but a trashy, over the top action movie laced with F-bombs that eventually grows on you.
out of 10
Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard was reviewed on Cinema


  1. KzA

    July 21, 2021 at 04:46

    Sounds crap, methinks I’ll give it a skip. Thanks for the blatantly honest review.


  2. MechMachine

    July 21, 2021 at 05:48

    What dimension is this ? Kassie writing for Critical Hit ? You leave for a couple of days and everything goes belly up ! 😉


    • MonsterCheddar

      July 21, 2021 at 06:43

      Can’t get any more belly up than this. LOL


      • MechMachine

        July 26, 2021 at 20:12

        Congrats. Just wonder how many sleepless nights Gavin had before hand. Lol. What happened to Geof? I see Darryn is Editor now.


        • MonsterCheddar

          July 27, 2021 at 07:48

          Nope. New owner.


          • MechMachine

            July 27, 2021 at 15:32


        • MonsterCheddar

          July 27, 2021 at 07:48

          I mean the site ha a new owner. Darryn is doing his own thing now.


    • Mandalorian Jim

      July 22, 2021 at 03:32

      You divided by zero MechMachine 😛 We tried to stop you, but you broke the simulation, and now the Cheese writes movie reviews, I’ve been unbanned, and we have an awesome article on table top gaming, which needs to be read. Lu… I want more… MOOOREE!!!


      • MechMachine

        July 26, 2021 at 20:12



  3. Pofadder

    July 22, 2021 at 02:49

    Ryan Reynolds was a bad ass in the 1st one. In this one he is just a wuss. Also casting a Mexican actor who cannot speak with any other accent to play a greek? That’s like casting John Wayne to play Genghis Khan……oh wait.


  4. Mandalorian Jim

    July 22, 2021 at 03:31

    4.5… Dude, you do realise that that sort of score is just going to make me watch it. I mean, how can you not watch a movie that got a 4.5?


  5. Mandalorian Jim

    July 22, 2021 at 03:33

    I hate to be that guy, but I haven’t seen the first movie yet. :/


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